Healthy Ways to Grieve During the Holidays by Dr. Cruse, S.W.I.M. Founder

The holiday season can be a joyful time, filled with family, food, and fellowship. But for those who’ve lost a loved one, it can also stir up deep sorrow. In the midst of the celebration, grief doesn’t recognize a holiday season. If you’re mourning, know that your feelings are valid, and there are faith-filled ways to walk through your pain with God’s guidance.

Here are some ways to grieve in a healthy way as a believer:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

Don’t try to “keep it together” just for appearances. Give yourself permission to cry, to feel anger, or even to laugh and remember joyful times. The Holy Spirit meets us in every emotion. Let God minister to your heart.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

You don’t have to do everything “the way it’s always been done.” It’s okay to scale back church programs, family dinners, or holiday parties. Say yes to what brings peace and no to what drains you. Remember, taking care of your soul (mind) is holy work.

3. Talk About Your Loved One

Speak their name. Share stories. Laugh and cry with trusted family, friends, or your church family. Honoring their life keeps their spirit alive and allows your heart to process loss with community support.

4. Spend Time in Prayer, Meditation, and Journaling

Sit quietly with God. Pour out your heart in prayer. Write down your thoughts, your prayers, your memories. Journaling can be a powerful way to see God’s faithfulness through your grief.

5. Lean on Scripture and Devotionals

God’s Word is our anchor. Lean on verses like Psalm 34:18 (The Lord is close to the brokenhearted), or Isaiah 41:10 (...do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you). Let this remind your spirit that God sees your pain and will comfort you.

6. Honor Their Memory

Find a meaningful way to celebrate your loved one’s life. Donate to a cause they cared about, volunteer in their honor, or light a candle in remembrance. Acts of love can be sacred rituals that help your heart heal.

7. Create a Keepsake

Make a memory ornament, a framed photo, or write down a favorite scripture verse that reminds you of them.

8. Do Something They Loved

Cook their favorite dish, play their favorite song, or visit a place that brought them joy. Doing what they loved allows you to celebrate them in meaningful ways.

9. Start a New Tradition

It’s okay to bring fresh meaning to the holidays. Start new traditions honor your loved one by moving forward intentionally.

10. Practice Gratitude

Even while grieving, take notice of God’s blessings around you. i.e.., the sunrise, the laughter of children, the beauty of fresh snow. Gratitude doesn’t erase sorrow, but it reminds your spirit that God is still good.

11. Seek Support

Lean on your church family, a grief support group, or a counselor who understands your faith journey. You were not meant to walk this alone, and God often works through others to bring comfort. If you need help finding a counselor visit S.W.I.M. Faith-affirming Care Directory

Closing Encouragement

The holidays can be heavy, but God’s presence is unwavering. Let Him be your refuge and your strength. Take time to feel, to remember, and to heal in His timing.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” — Matthew 5:4